METAL ROCKZ (parental advisory explicit content..sry =P)

I think most of u know that i listen to metal (among other stuff), so one of my friends sent something funny to me about how to characterize the different types of metal, i love the progressive and epic most



A dragon is guarding a princess in a dungeon...

Power metal:
You arrive riding a white unicorn, escape from the dragon,
save the princess and make love with her in an enchanted forest!

Thrash metal:
You arrive, fight the dragon, save the princess and fuck
her.

Heavy metal:
You arrive on a harley davidson bike, kill the dragon, drink
some beers and fuck the princess.

Folk metal:
You arrive with some friends playing acordeons, violins, flutes
and many more instruments, the dragon falls asleep (by all the dancing)...
Then all leave...
Without the princess.

Viking metal:
You arrive in a ship, kill the dragon with your mighty axe,
cook and eat it,
rape the princess to death, steal the castle and burn
all the place before you leave.

Death metal:
You arrive, kill the dragon, fuck the princess and kill her,
then leave.

Black metal:
You arrive at midnight, kill the dragon and impale it in
front of the castle... Then sodomize the princess, drink her blood in a
ritual before killing her... Then you impale the unvirgin princess.

Gore metal:
You arrive, kill the dragon and spread his guts in the front
of the castle, fuck the princess and kill her... Then you fuck the dead
body, slash her belly and eat her guts... Then you fuck the carcass for
the third time, burn the corpse and fuck it for the last time.

Doom metal:
You arrive, see the size of the dragon and think that you
never could beat him, then you get depressed and commit suicide... The
dragon eats your body and the princess as well... (the end of the sad
story).

Progressive metal:
You arrive with a guitar and play a solo of 26 minutes... The
dragon kills himself out of boredom... You arrive to the
princess' bedroom, play another solo with all the technics and tunes
learned in the last year in the conservatory... The princess escapes looking
for the heavy metal guy.

Glam metal:
You arrive, the dragon laughs of your appearance and lets
you enter... You then steals the princess' make-up and try to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink colour.

Grind metal:
You arrive, scream something completely undecipherable for
about 2 minutes and then leave...

Epic metal:
You arrive to a great plain where the armies of the dragon wait for you. The
thousands of slave warriors hail you. You pray to the spirits of your
ancestors
and raise your sword up high. The wind blows and the battle begins. Your
divine
sword serves you well and you are I N V I N C I B L E. After days of
slaughter,
blood and gore you finally get to the dragon himself and slay him. The
princess
drops to her knees and after your permission she kisses your hand, wears a
chained collar and swears to be your eternal slave.

Hot DAWG Isi you've got problems!!

w/e

hhheeeyyyy I see what you're doing! you're trying to pull me towards spam with your freakshow comments and lack of smilies!! but NO!!



CATS FOREVA!!

MUHAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA! I'll get all of u!!!!

NEVA


CATS FOREVA!!!

ALREADY GOTCHA ^^

oh crap you did....TO GENERAL DISCUSSION!!

woops forgot....


CATS FOREVA!!!

U cant i bewitched u with my EVIL SPAM MAGIC

GD is a sadly neglected forum for technicalities......NVM

LOL and awww why cant i see my sig?

Maybe it thought you were too wacked out for it so it went to find a naked redhead named Carli?

CATS FOREVA!!!

U're even more random than eles o.O

why thank you.....

ALIEN DANCE PARTY!!!

But u gotta learn more from me when it comes to spamming =P

Ah shmooze the spamming it's an alien party...ALIEN BOOZE!!!!!!11

BEER

BEER AND METAL RULE

but beer metal and viagra cause you to be able to piss a few million miles

I wonder if you tried that would you be able to piss so far it smacks you in the back of the head?

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW u're sick

I'm sick? remember this?



Gore metal:
You arrive, kill the dragon and spread his guts in the front
of the castle, fuck the princess and kill her... Then you fuck the dead
body, slash her belly and eat her guts... Then you fuck the carcass for
the third time, burn the corpse and fuck it for the last time.

Yeah u're sick ^^

Hah there's my sig ^^

sig shmig now i've gotta chop Johhny off because of this! HE'S GOTTA GET CHOPPED OFF BECAUSE OF YOU!!!